So my boyfriend kept huge, huge, huge secrets from me in the past, which completely shattered my image of him.
For a good few years, I trusted him completely. 100%. Never-lying. Absolutely honest. All. The. Time. After I found
out his secretS (notice how I emphasize the plurality), I felt like I didn't know who he was anymore. I felt like he'd
been "playing" me all this time, like a side-hoe or something.
After that, he was super distant and did whatever he wanted to do. Because of the distance, I found myself glued
to an online website where I made new friends and had deep bonds with. Something I can't share here happened,
and my boyfriend found out, and he had the same "WHO ARE YOU?" phase with me.
Fast forward to the present, we're patched up and better than ever. I'm just uneasy because early on in our
relationship, we always put our money together to do things like walk to Taco Bell or a taqueria after school to eat.
Now, I never know how much money he has, ever. For the time being, he can't drive, so he's currently unemployed
but he still has money from doing favors for friends here and there (car stuff). I just hope he's not doing anything
related to drugs to make money. For a moment in the past, he talked to me about how interested he was in it.
I remember sitting on his bed once, and he stood in front of me, pulling out some cash, partially blocking my
view. I could see that there were "Benjamins" in his secret stash, when he was just trying to pull out a twenty.
Seeing him with that much money scares me I MEAN THE GUY IS UNEMPLOYED.
There was a time when I picked him up to go to school, and I said "Oh shoot, I have to pump gas but I forgot my
wallet at home." He said he was broke, but as we sat there for a few more seconds, he went back in his house
and came out with $40 or so. Broke?? I pay for every single breakfast, lunch, and dinner that we have together.
He's great with money, really good with it, so I understand if he has an emergency saving thing going on, but
at one point he talked about how he was tempted to get new tail lights for his car (that he can't drive yet) and
I'm wondering why he suddenly has money to spend. If we're getting married, I don't want financial ambiguity to
continue in our relationship. I mean what we do with our money is our personal business, but I don't want him
doing anything illegal for that money. He's an extremely charismatic, likeable guy. Smart, persuasive, funny. He
likes the idea of power and money which is funny because I'm the exact opposite. I'm lucky to have such a
great guy and everything, but I just want to keep him on the "good" safe side...
